Have you ever wondered why your cat insists on sitting on you instead of that comfy couch or cosy bed? If you have a lap cat, you know the feeling: one moment, they mind their own business, and the next, you’re their favourite resting spot. My cats, Bean and Luci, always prefer my lap, especially on chilly mornings when I’m trying to get up for work. But why do they do this? Is it about warmth, comfort, or something deeper? Understanding this behaviour can reveal how cats express affection and seek security.
The reasons behind a cat’s lap preference can vary, from seeking attention to trusting you as their safe space. But what if your cat doesn’t sit on your lap at all? Does that mean they don’t love you? Not necessarily! In this blog, we’ll explore why cats choose to sit on people, why some prefer not to, and how you can encourage your feline to become a snuggly lap cat. So, let’s dive into the fascinating world of feline behaviour and decode what your cat is really trying to tell you.
Why Does My Cat Sit on Me?
Cats are not shy about taking what they want. They aren’t scared to hurt your feelings either, so be prepared to be ignored if your lap cat has chosen another human to sit on. But when your cat does pick you as their personal seat, it’s not just a random choice—there’s a deeper reason behind it. Cats are naturally drawn to warmth, security, and companionship, and your lap provides all of these in one cosy spot.
Their decision to sit on you can be influenced by various factors, from their personality and past experiences to their need for affection and even their breed. Some cats are more social by nature, while others may seek your lap as a way to mark their territory or establish a routine. The following points may help us understand how cats choose which lap to sit on.
Seeking Attention
It’s no coincidence that cats choose moments when you’re focused on something else to demand attention. Being petted and sleeping near you can remind them of kittenhood when they felt safe and nurtured by their mother. Sitting on your lap provides warmth, affection, and a sense of security.
Affection and Companionship
Contrary to popular belief, cats are not completely antisocial. In the wild, feral cats sleep together in colonies for warmth and safety. Domesticated cats often display a similar need for companionship, choosing to curl up with their owners as a way of bonding.
Comfort and Warmth
It’s no secret that cats love warmth. Their lap-seeking behaviour increases during colder months as they see humans as a source of heat. Providing a safe outdoor space, like a cat netting enclosure, allows your cat to enjoy the sun safely.
Matter of Safety and Trust
Cats are at their most vulnerable when they are asleep, so they naturally seek out safe places where they can rest without fear. If your cat is sleeping with you, it’s because they feel protected by you, and this helps them sleep peacefully and without fear.
Territorial Senses
When cats lay on you, they are also wiping their scent on you and your clothes. This is telling the world (or other cats) that you belong to them, but it also helps them feel safe and comfortable when they can smell themselves on you and in their environment.
Breed
There is a reason some cats are known as “lap cats”. Some breeds, like Persians, Ragdolls, Burmese and Siamese, are naturally more social and love to curl up on their humans. Through breeding, this affectionate nature is strengthened and becomes a common characteristic of the breed.
They Love You
A study done on oxytocin levels in cats and dogs when they interact with their owners discovered there was a rise of this happy hormone when cats are asleep safely with their human owners. They really do love us!
Why Won’t My Cat Sit on My Lap?
Every cat is different, of course, and not all of them want to be close all the time. While some cats enjoy sitting on laps, others prefer nearby companionship rather than direct contact. Your cat may also feel more comfortable with someone who spends more time with them, has a gentler touch, or better meets their emotional needs. Understanding your cat’s preferences can help you foster a stronger bond with them. So, let’s explore some reasons your cat may be shunning your lap, including:
- You’re Not the Current Favourite: Usually, a cat will want to be around the person who spends the most time with them. If you want to make your lap more attractive, you need to put in the work to build that bond and trust.
- Individual Personality: Some breeds are known to be more social and affectionate, but even within these breeds, cats have personality differences that may make them more or less independent and aloof.
- Past Experiences: If you have adopted a rescue cat or an older cat, you may not be aware that it is an unpleasant past experience that may make them more fearful of human interaction.
How to Train My Cat to Sit on My Lap?
Training a cat to be a lap cat takes patience. Start by sitting at their level and allowing them to approach you while using soft tones and gentle encouragement. Offering a favourite treat when they sit on your lap can reinforce positive behaviour. With knowledge and patience, along with the right approach, it’s possible to encourage your cat to sit on your lap more. Here are four steps you can use to train your feline friend to become a lap cat:
- Begin at Their Level: Get down on the floor at their level so that the transition is as easy as it can be. Be welcoming and warm without being too intense and smothering.
- Understand Body language: Get to know your cat’s body language, and pull back if they give you any signs that they are uncomfortable. All cats like to be in control of their choices and bodies.
- Encourage with Rewards: Using a tasty treat is a great way of building trust and reinforcing a desired behaviour, such as sitting on your lap.
- Foster a Peaceful Setting: Cats are very sensitive to change and disruption. Ensure you have a peaceful and calm environment to help them feel safe, and the process of building a bond will become much smoother.
You may Also Like: How to Train a Cat?
Conclusion
Cats seek comfort and warmth on their owner’s laps for emotional security, attention, and companionship. Sitting on your lap not only provides them with physical warmth but also brings emotional comfort, reminiscent of the safety they felt as kittens. Factors like breed, personality, and past experiences play a significant role in determining a cat’s preference for lap time, and understanding these influences can help you foster a stronger connection.
Building a trusting relationship with your cat requires patience and respect for their boundaries. By meeting them at their level, recognizing their body language, and reinforcing positive behaviour with treats, you can encourage more lap cuddles. Consistency is key, and the effort will strengthen your bond.
FAQs
How do cats choose their favourite person?
Cats will choose the person that aligns best with their personality and needs. For example, a vocal cat will appreciate people who speak with them, an affectionate cat looks for the person who gives the most cuddles, and a skittish or anxious cat will feel safest around people who show kindness but respect their boundaries.
How do you tell if a cat trusts you?
Cats show they trust you in many ways, including spending time with you, sleeping on your lap or nearby, spending time in your room, or greeting you at the door when you come home.
Are certain cat breeds more likely to be lap cats?
There are many breeds of cats known to be more affectionate and social, and these breeds will often enjoy spending time on your lap. Example breeds include Persians, Burmese, Siamese and Ragdolls.
Why might my cat prefer sitting on someone else's lap?
Cats will choose people that spend the most time with them and they feel close too. If a cat is choosing someone else’s lap it doesn’t mean they dislike you, rather, they have a stronger relationship with the other person.
How can I make my lap more appealing to my cat?
Cats show affection to people who spend time with them and help them feel safe. If you want to make your lap more appealing to your cat, work on building your relationship with them through play, pats and affection.
Why do cats cuddle you and then bite you?
Most cats enjoy cuddles, but sometimes, the interaction can become overstimulating and may trigger their play instincts. Cats may also bite you when you have overstepped their boundary, and they want you to back off.
